Could Rick Astley and Blossoms at Glastonbury be the final sacrilege?
It is more bad news for fans of The Smiths, dear readers.
In a stunning turn of events that has left fans of The Smiths reeling, the music world was hit with yet another blow. Just when we thought we had weathered the storm of Morrissey’s controversial remarks and the tragic loss of Andy Rourke, we now find ourselves faced with a new sacrilege. Brace yourselves, dear readers, for the unholy collaboration of Rick Astley and Blossoms as they dare to perform a karaoke-style set of Smiths songs at Glastonbury. In what can only be described as the final straw, this development has left 1st 3 Magazine in a state of disbelief. Join us as we navigate through this bizarre musical landscape with a mixture of humour and a touch of professional bewilderment.
Farewell, Glastonbury of old. You will be missed."
Before we delve into the peculiar choice of Rick Astley, let’s take a moment to appreciate another gem from the 1980s. The Wonder Stuff’s fan favourite, “Astley In The Noose,” serves as a fitting soundtrack to our collective disbelief. Its infectious melody and clever lyrics perfectly capture the sentiment many Smiths fans are feeling right now. We couldn’t help but share this reminder with you, as it beautifully encapsulates the mixture of incredulity and exasperation that accompanies the announcement of Astley’s involvement.
deep down, there's a tinge of sadness for the dilution of the festival's once-rebellious spirit"
Glastonbury, once a bastion of counterculture and musical rebellion, has seemingly lost its way. In recent years, it has transformed into a sanitized neoliberal simulation of its former self. Gone are the days of raw, revolutionary performances that challenged the status quo. Instead, we are left with karaoke-style renditions of iconic songs, performed by a man who rose to fame with a different, albeit catchy, hit. The irony of it all is hard to ignore. The Glastonbury we once knew and loved has become a playground for nostalgic acts, providing them with a platform to cash in on our collective longing for the past.
Ah, Rick Astley, the man who unwittingly became an internet sensation through the infamous “Rickrolling” phenomenon. It seems that Astley’s knack for surprise is not limited to online pranks. With his relentless commitment to trawling the 1980s to pay the bills, he has stumbled upon The Smiths’ sacred territory. While we can appreciate Astley’s vocal talents and enduring popularity, it’s hard not to raise an eyebrow at the audacity of this endeavour.
So, we now find ourselves at a loss for words. The unholy union of Rick Astley and Blossoms performing Smiths songs at Glastonbury is a sight that we never thought we would witness. As music journalists, we strive to maintain a professional demeanour, but we can’t help but be entertained by the absurdity of it all. Yet, deep down, there’s a tinge of sadness for the dilution of the festival’s once-rebellious spirit.
Mr Astley, we say this: May your karaoke renditions be flawless, and may the audience find joy in this surreal spectacle. But for the rest of us, we’ll be holding onto the memories of The Smiths’ heyday, cherishing the rebellious spirit they embodied. Farewell, Glastonbury of old. You will be missed.
So, dear readers, join us in raising a glass to the unhinged spectacle that awaits us at Glastonbury. Let’s embrace the chaos, savour the irony, and remember, in the realm of music, even the most sacred cows can be Rickrolled. Cheers to the final sacrilege and fuck you, Rick Astley.